Frostbite
by Chaoslyene
Summary: On a cold winter night, unrequited love finally takes its toll and things go horribly wrong. CielxSebastian. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Pride

**Hi all!**

**My first Kuro fanfic, SebbyxCiel, so be nice everyone!**

**So...this story will consist of at least a few more chapters...hopefully I'll try to get 'em up ASAP. Fingers crossed.**

**First chapter is a bit dark and focuses more on Ciel BUT, BUT...there WILL BE more Ciel and Sebby action goin' on, no doubting that. I'm perverted, so don't worry eh heh heh.**

**Happy reading!**

**OH and do not forget to review! Please review! I always love good feedback! Bashing and mean comments will not be accepted! ;]**

**Alright, I'll shut up now so you can enjoy the story. Adios.**

It was cold.

"Somebody…"

The snowflakes shimmered in the night, gently falling from the sky and onto to the ground. All was quiet except for the shallow breathing of a certain young earl who had been struck by a snowstorm and was now, lost without a person in sight. Had it not been for his fury and pride, he would have been back at the Phantomhive mansion by now. But no, Ciel Phantomhive would always hold his head high with dignity…even if it might end up costing his life.

…Few Hours Ago…

"Bocchan, is something on your mind?" asked Sebastian, Ciel's butler.

Distracted from his thoughts, he turned to the butler and shook his head before looking out through the carriage's window again. Happy children were laughing and screaming as they ran across the streets and got glares and yells from adults and shopkeepers. It was a wonder they could be so joyful at a time and era where danger seemed to lurk in every darkened corner.

Ciel glanced up at the sky and saw that it was starting to snow. _What a white sky, _he thought. He felt the sudden urge to hold out his hand and feel the tiny flakes melt on his skin. But that would make Sebastian wonder once more. And he didn't want that.

After a few silent seconds had passed, the carriage came to a gentle halt. Sebastian opened the door as Ciel adjusted his hat and stepped out. People passing by threw glimpses in his direction, whispering under their breaths and giving slight nods as a form of respect. Ciel loathed the way they talked about him… as if he were some troubled young boy who was on the brink of insanity. Maybe he was just that but he still didn't like it anyway.

"Sebastian"

"Yes, Bocchan?"

Ciel had been thinking about what he was going to say for quite a long time. It was always plaguing his dreams, or as he would put it, nightmares. He found it harder to concentrate, much less think, with Sebastian around. The butler's every move and touch gave him shivers. Even his eating habits were starting to change. Honestly put, it was killing him. For such a long time of searching for the cause of all this absurdity…he was shocked to the bone when he finally realized what it was.

Ciel had fallen in love with Sebastian.

"I don't wish to have you following me around anymore."

Sebastian was dumbstruck. Never had his young master rejected his services or his presence. Sure, he rarely spoke to him these days and didn't really acknowledge him but he'd never actually turned him away. He speculated the sudden change of mind.

"But why so, Bocchan?"

Ciel gritted his teeth. Of course he couldn't say the real reason. He'd have to make something up.

"I no longer need your services. I can handle myself from now on" he declared pompously.

The butler looked into his master's eyes. For the first time, he saw an expression that he'd never seen in his face before. It was pure strain and dishonesty. Those sapphire blue eyes were not making direct contact with his crimson red ones. His lips were in a tight line and his knuckles were clasped and ghostly white. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his young master this way.

"Bocchan…what's wrong?"

Sebastian knelt down and gently placed his hand on Ciel's shoulder. The boy jerked at the contact.

"I am but your loyal butler, my lord. I hate to see you in this condition."

Ciel could feel angry tears trying to squeeze their way out of his tear ducts. He felt so angry with himself for being so exposed in front of him this way. Sebastian could look through his every motive without difficulty. It was humiliating.

_I am the head of the Phantomhive household_, he reminded himself.

"Get your hands off me" he ordered bleakly. His hand remained in place.

"Disappear from my sight this instant!"

Sebastian let his hand fall to the side. Ciel gave him a searing glare, turned around and made his way through the street. Holding his head high, he walked straight forward without looking back.

For the next couple of hours, due to caring too much for his pride, he didn't realize that he was walking alone with no money and most importantly, no butler. It was only when he went inside a shop to buy a new set cufflinks when he noticed Sebastian's absence. _That jerk, _he cursed. Good thing the storekeeper let him have the cufflinks at no cost, what with Ciel being…Ciel.

He stepped out of the store and shivered at the cold air that blew at him. The snow had fallen surprisingly fast and the entire street was now covered in a white sheet.

"Winter…" he muttered under his breath.

The sky was now turning into a neutral grey color. Because of the suddenly bitter weather, people were walking briskly and hurrying to get inside buildings and houses. Gentlemen held on to their hats and ladies clung to their umbrellas as the wind picked up momentum. Little by little, the streets were getting emptier and emptier. There was no more laughter erupting from the sidewalks. In fact, all was quiet except for the swirling sound of the wind.

Ciel walked slowly…feeling gloomier than usual.

_Maybe I shouldn't have told him to disappear, _he contemplated. _But still…that jerk can't just leave me like this._

Looking around, he realized that there weren't any coachmen around. Everyone was taking shelter from the storm that threatened to commence soon. He only had a few options to choose from. He could either stay inside an eatery or hotel until the storm had come to an end, which would probably last overnight, or find his way to the mansion on his own.

After thinking for a moment, he blindly overlooked the situation and decided that he go back on his own.

"I guess I'll have to get someone to take me to the mansion."

Shop after shop, house after house…no one could agree to escort him to the Phantomhive mansion. They all begged the young earl to stay the night but he declined every offer.

"But you'll freeze to death in this weather, Earl Phantomhive!"

_Foolish idiots, _he thought irritatingly. After searching for a few hours, he gave up and went on to make his way to the mansion on foot. Sure, it was inconvenient but he was determined to make it back promptly. He walked on and on as the wind got stronger and the snow reached up to his ankles.

Soon enough, the trees in the rural region of London were surrounding him and he was a mile closer to home. However, just as he made a turn around a big oak tree, something knocked him to the ground. Struggling to get up, Ciel saw that a branch from the oak had jammed him to the ground.

_Shit._

He attempted to push it off of himself but to no avail. As much as he was in good shape, he had not acquired any strength to lift giant tree branches. No matter how hard he pushed or pulled, it continued to lie on his lower torso. After much endeavor and shifting around, Ciel threw his head back and closed his eyes.

He was exhausted and freezing. His clothes were covered in snow and the tips of his eyelashes were icy. Breathing slowly, he opened his eyes and gazed at the sky. For someone who was on the brink of death, he was sure tranquil.

The sky was now a deep, dark navy color…just like his eyes. His hand reached out to the sky and the tiny snowflakes fell onto his palm, melting instantly. It was a nice sensation.

_Will I die here? _he questioned no one in apparent. Ciel ridiculed the irony of the question. The edges surrounding his vision were starting to blur… and the sky grew darker and darker, until everything became pitch black.

_If he does not come…_

…_then I shall perish in this spot and moment._


	2. Pain

**Well, hello!**

**So...right...I didn't actually plan for this to be a chapter. Just some drabble I whipped up on a long plane ride to tickle your fancy. **

**But then, hey! I realized that it COULD work so I worked on it for a bit and it DID work. YAY!**

**My fingers are crossed, though. Its not perfect compared to the previous chapter.**

**NB: If you're confused, the italic symbolizes Ciel's inner voice. Kinda like the small voice at the back of the head^^**

**Anyways, I really hope you enjoy! Hopefully I'll be able to whip up another chapter soon.**

**Merry christmas and happy reading everyone!**

**

* * *

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_Once you give in to the darkness…the pain goes away. _

_You float on an invisible surface for some time until your whole body goes numb and there, it's done. _

_You're dead. _

Everything was going as I had expected it to. It was dark, yes, and my body was beginning to numb. I couldn't say that the feeling was unpleasant. The cold was not even a bit difficult to endure anymore. No more pain or struggle, just silence. My thoughts were pretty vacant as well. It was like…everything was pure and unblemished, just like freshly fallen snow.

When was the last time I'd felt this calm?

_It was when…it was…when…when…_

…_I met Sebastian for the first time_

All of it came flooding back in then.

There was the fire. Mother and Father were burning to death and a bunch of filthy creatures had come and done all sorts of inhumane acts on me. They were utterly disgusting… I had never felt so disgraced and humiliated in my life. However, someone or something had suddenly come and they were gone.

That's when I saw him for the first time. He was tall and black as night with eyes resembling burning crimson flames. The moment he scooped me up in his arms and held me…I'd felt calm and most of all, irrefutably safe.

_Yes, it was that time. _

A dash of blood spattered on to that unblemished sheet of snow. What a shame. Soon it won't be so white or pure…

_Yes, it would be stained red all over. _

All of a sudden, my body wasn't feeling so numb anymore.

_What's happening?_

I was starting to feel cold all over. Maybe this is what happens after the numbness is gone. Perhaps I was dying and going to hell. But that would be impossible, since Sebastian's supposed to…well, fat chance of that happening now. If that idiot was stupid enough to let me go just like that, it's his loss.

_Somewhere deep in my chest, it really hurts. _

Wait a minute…if I command him to come and save me, he will. He must. I'm sure he wouldn't just walk away from the contract. He's just a demon, after all.

_What if he doesn't come?_

That would be…crossing the line. He can play his pointless games and delay his duties but that would be too far. Much too far.

_Oh, just swallow that pride of yours and do it. _

That's right. I may be halfway dead by now and Sebastian could've wandered to god knows where but I've still got a revenge to carry out and its time I behaved like the true head of the Phantomhive household. I, Ciel Phantomhive, will never give up.

_Sebastian! _

I waited impatiently for his answering response. But there was none.

_Sebastian Michaelis, I order you to come and save me!_

The moment those words came tumbling out, my legs caught on fire.

"AAAAAAAAARGHHH!"

My screams exploded out of my lungs without any control. One after another, they came bursting out like fireworks. It felt like my legs were being frosted to stone and burnt to flames at the same time. I couldn't take it. My eyes were on the brink of popping out of my sockets.

"S-SEBASTIAN! SEBASTIAN!"

It didn't matter that I sounded like a desperate damsel in distress calling for her hero. The only thing I could do was cry out for him, not being able to do anything else. I needed him. Right now.

"YOU IDIOT! W-WHERE THE HELL ARE Y-YOU?"

That was all of what was left in me. I could yell no more.

Yet still…even after all this, the excruciating pain went on and he did not show up. I could not believe what was happening. Over and over I hoped that this was a nightmare and I would wake up soon. However, this was a different kind of nightmare. It was all real.

_So, this is…the end of me?_

For the first time in my life since my parents had died, I felt a strange and unfamiliar moisture run down the sides of my face.

_What is this..?_

I couldn't believe it. I was actually doing all this, just for a traitor who wasn't even human at all. Why? Why am I making such a fool of myself? He's just a demon after my soul. He's a heartless monster. He's…the first person I had ever 'loved'.

I felt another wetness on my cheeks again.

So here it was…this inescapable fate of mine. All hope was lost, and if I ever got a chance to live again, I wouldn't want to. Without Sebastian, carrying out my revenge would be like fighting in war without a weapon. Useless. Normally I would hate myself right now but odd enough, I felt all right to just sleep for eternity and never wake up again.

_Sleep now, just drift off…_

And finally then, I acknowledged that small voice at the back of my head and let go of everything.

* * *

Sebastian stared down at his young master.

"Bocchan…why?"

The butler picked him up and leaped onto a nearby tree. The frail body was nearly frostbitten to the bone. It was a wonder he was still breathing.

Gently, he brushed his gloved hand over the soft, dark locks of the sleeping boy and closed his eyes. _There was no choice now_, he thought. _What Bocchan witnessed just now could never be forgiven…I went too far. _

"Forgive me, my lord"

Sebastian bit the tip of his glove and pulled it off. Barring his fangs, he made a deep cut on the skin of his palm and placed it on the boy's forehead.

The moment the red made contact with his skin, Ciel Phantomhive's memory of the past three hours disappeared completely.


End file.
